You are an amazing human being. Brilliant, resilient, and truly awe inspiring… most of the time.
Lately you’ve been feeling listless, lifeless, and dull. Discouraged, disheartened, maybe even depressed.
You know you could be happier… healthier. You feel like something’s missing. You’ve been unable to pick yourself up and move forward after a life altering, heart crushing, loss, or lifestyle change.
In the span of eighteen months, my dad died, I filed for divorce, and I started a new career. I became the primary caregiver, financially responsible for my two pre-teen daughters. My health, relationships, and finances suffered.
Sleepless nights and daytime angst. I worried about everything...how to manage the steep learning curve in my new position at work…how to pay the mortgage…how to save for my kids’ education...how to get through the day and be available for my kids after work...how to keep my kids happy and healthy and how to “keep it together”, “get over it” and “get on with life”.
I didn’t know who to turn to, who to talk to, or where to find support. My family, friends, and coworkers didn’t know what to say or do. Some of them simply avoided me. I felt lost and alone.
Can you relate?
“Diamonds are formed through extreme pressure and upheaval”.
You can turn the upheaval and uncertainty that follows a death, divorce, or retirement, into an opportunity to live a vibrant life of meaning and purpose.
People spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on meals, entertainment, beauty services, and travel to make themselves feel better. These coping strategies are band-aids at best and are what causes grief to linger. These short-term coping strategies lead to longer term pain, addiction, relationship breakdown, anxiety, and depression.
You don’t have to wait for the pain to get worse or suffer a health crisis.
Melody has been where you are. She has made the journey that you find yourself beginning, the processing through of intense, unrelenting grief.
"When I finally stopped pretending I had moved on and was just fine, and really took the time to process the grief and complete my healing, I learned that I hadn't fully grieved my miscarriage, my husband's job loss or my father's death. These underlying issues were adversely affecting my marriage."
Often perceived as a limited time of pain or sadness, grieving involves a myriad of emotions and can actually continue on deeper levels for years. The loss of your loved one may necessitate you enduring many other life transitions like the loss of financial security, personal independence, even a shakeup in your identity as in the case of a child dying leaving you no longer a parent. It could mean saying goodbye to your hopes and dreams of a life together. Each loss has its own impact, and each one needs to be mourned, honoured on its own.