It’s no joke.
All that emotional “baggage” we haul around with us every step of the way is not only weighing us down, quite literally holding us back from enjoying the abundance, the vitality, the joy, and love that is our birthright, but it is also eroding our emotional and physical health.
When a love relationship ends, through divorce or separation, the implications of the loss ripple out through the lives of both parties, emotional tsunamis of pain, guilt, anger, fear, and shame.
Being the one left behind sparks feelings of anger, insecurity and low self-worth. People say you will get over it; it will work out for the best in the end, but your overwhelming sense of rejection, inadequacy. and hopelessness blinds you to anything positive. You’re so certain that, now, you’ll be forever alone.
So far from true! Reach out to Melody now.
Being the one deciding to leave, knowing it will likely cause heartache, is not an enviable role. Even though it takes courage to assert your independence and resolutely take care of your needs, you can’t help but experience sadness, regret, even guilt. When friends and family see you as the one senselessly and selfishly disrupting the status quo, of course, you feel isolated, actually irritated that they can’t see the loss is just as painful for you, just in a different way.
Melody knows what it’s like to be hit by overpowering change, to have life as you know it unexpectedly stripped away. In fact, at one point, in the space of eighteen months, she was confronted with her father’s death, her own divorce and starting a new job.
“I was worried about how being a single mom would affect my children. How would they cope? How would I? Could I excel at my new position and pay the mortgage while being a good parent, and still stay healthy myself? My family, friends and coworkers didn’t know what to say, so some of my closest loved ones, at a loss as to how to help, simply avoided me!
I realized I couldn’t stop everything from changing forever. My health, relationships, career, and finances were all in upheaval, and it was all I could do to get through. I was forced into learning how much more effective it was to embrace the transition as opposed to fighting it, and rather than just avoid the pain, to understand the reasons behind it.”
Melody’s own personal transformation and self-discovery ultimately led her to a deeper sense of wisdom, love, freedom, and joy. Inspired to follow her passion by helping others with her enlightened understanding and coping strategies, she became a certified grief recovery specialist and a proponent of living intentionally, choosing not to let outside circumstances take over control.
Thus DiamondLight Leadership was born.
“Relationship grievances drive a wedge between you and the ones you love. Unresolved emotional triggers fuel the fight to be right”.
It can happen that fast. For years, your purpose, your very essence has been defined by your personal role in life, your job, your valued career.
Often, you’ve spent more time with your co-workers than you have with your own family, and then one day that job, your proud, hard-won professional position is taken away. Be it due to downsizing, discipline, retirement, or even the inevitability of maturing children leaving behind an empty nest, the gaping hole in your life, the brutal loss of your identity is the same. Whether stirring up anger, frustration at the injustice of it all, or depression, feelings of failure, and worthlessness at the shock of it all, in the end, it is loss.
Loss means change and change can bring pain.
Who better to help you, to work with your colleagues and employees to create a more positive, productive workplace, than a fellow survivor?
Melody’s previous career as a human resources leadership development professional in the cyclically “boom or bust” corporate environment of the petroleum industry gave her first-hand insight into the emotional devastation individuals experience in the wake of job loss.
“During economic downturns, I oversaw the sad sorting out of many downsizings, rightsizings, and restructurings. The very people I had onboarded and trained, their bright personalities and collaborative projects once contributing to the workplace were now just reduced to a few forgotten belongings. In a sense, it was like a little death. Not only did the departing employees face tremendous life change, but, among the remaining staff members now doing double the work while living in fear of the next wave of layoffs, the loss of their colleagues was truly mourned.”
Realizing the surprising lack of awareness in the corporate realm regarding such issues and the absence of viable strategies to help leaders and staff deal with the cumulatively negative impacts of loss and change in the workplace, Melody has developed specific training programs for individuals and organizations. Learn more about the logistics of having this skilled facilitator work with your company through her proven program, Optimizing Organizational Change.
The passing on of a cherished friend, family member or unborn child often presents as a total dead end. Along with your loved one, it’s like your whole future died too. How can you live on yourself when, in your mind, life will never be the same? In the case of dementia and Alzheimer’s, your entire relationship with your loved one is irreparably changed. They’re gone from you long before they’re gone from the world. You might see such a major loss coming, or you might be caught off guard, but weathering the natural storms of life is much easier when you have loss and life coach, Melody Chardon, by your side.
Melody has been where you are. She has made the journey that you find yourself beginning, the processing through of intense, unrelenting grief.
"When I finally stopped pretending I had moved on and was just fine, and really took the time to process the grief and complete my healing, I learned that I hadn't fully grieved my miscarriage, my husband's job loss or my father's death. These underlying issues were adversely affecting my marriage."
Often perceived as a limited time of pain or sadness, grieving involves a myriad of emotions and can actually continue on deeper levels for years. The loss of your loved one may necessitate you enduring many other life transitions like the loss of financial security, personal independence, even a shakeup in your identity as in the case of a child dying leaving you no longer a parent. It could mean saying goodbye to your hopes and dreams of a life together. Each loss has its own impact, and each one needs to be mourned, honoured on its own.